Lots of area to cover in this title, right? Well I will attempt to cover how the title fits a Cancer patient.
We all can understand the Scared part. When you hear the words You have Cancer the first thought is dying. And we all know of someone that passed horribly from Cancer. My mother had a horrible couple of years being destroyed by Cancer. The thought of that definitely scares me.
Additionally I have witnessed others slide downward into death. One from denial of Cancer, another after turning down treatments due to side effects. In both these situations the individual had their reasons for that choice. Both choices are the effect of being Scared.
Scared of the unknown, the negative of the word Cancer, leads a mind down a hell hole of possibilities – none of which end positively.
Hate is often confused with Anger. Both are strong emotions and both hurt mentally and emotionally. I choose to use Hate as it is easily displayed with our body language and words. Hate is an example of a distortion of both anger and fear.
Hate comes as part of Scared and is the why me/what did I do that many go through. We hate the Cancer and maybe ourselves for whatever we might have done to get Cancer. We all have some measure of Hate for our Cancer but while some move on many others get stuck on this.
Accept comes when we admit that Cancer is part of us and that being Scared and full of Hate does not support our life. Plus it helps the healing process or at least the medical process. My personal experience with Cancer is knowing from the start that it was not curable but very treatable. What this means is my Cancer can be controlled but not eradicated. Treatments are available for all the stages past the IIc I am at.
Forgive comes after acceptance because when you accept where you are you can Forgive yourself for having Cancer. Why Forgive? Well doing this eases your burden and energy related to being Scared and Hate. Those two suck the energy out of life that can be directed to living. And isn’t the whole point of life being able to live it with family and friends? Yes it is so the more energy you can put into living the better your life will be.
Embrace is the goal. Embrace living, family, friends, and others. One way to live the most you can is to supply as much energy as you can. Energy put into being Scared or Hate takes away from living and therefore hurts living. With Cancer you only have so much energy. Apply it where it does the best for you.
Lets face this fact: the medical profession becomes family. You will see them, lots of them maybe, often, get checkups, tests, and treatments. Getting to know your Doctors, Nurse Practitioners, Physician Assistants, Nurses, and technicials helps you focus your energy on living. They are people with lives and if you ask them about their outside life most likely they will talk with you like a friend. And you want them as a friend. Treatments will not be better or offered differently. As a professional they do their best for the Scared, Hating, angry crabs, and the positive interactive patients. But their work lives are easier with the last than the rest I just noted.
What positive interaction does is smooth the medical process not the process itself. Think about your work. We all have the crap, pain coworker. You avoid them but if you have to work with them you always do the best you can. Failing to do so will get you in trouble.
We all tend to gravitate to the happy positive workers. Unless you are the Crab.
Yes Cancer does Suck and we all at some point have to deal with it. A few of us have had two different Cancers, in my case 40 years apart. Not a recurrence years later but a totally different Cancer. Did this make round #2 easier? I think it did. My first time I reached Embrace after a few months mostly because I was 27 and just starting out. The next time I skipped the bad steps and Embraced Life because I had done it before and survived 40 years.
The medicals I interact with are pleased with my attitude and have stated that attitude matters almost as much as the treatments they prescribe. Positive attitude makes a difference.
What I am suggesting is for the newly diagnosed to come to Accept their Cancer as part of their lives. Hard to do? Absolutely!
Will it make a difference in living your life? Yes it will.
Your Caregivers, family, and friends will be supportive and there for you either way.
But a positive attitude will help make it easier.
Pink isn't the only Cancer 